While victim-blaming is never appropriate and the college fully recognizes that only those who commit sexual misconduct are responsible for their actions, the College provides the following suggestions to help individuals protect themselves and others, reduce their risk of being victimized, and their risk of being accused of sexual misconduct.
Reducing the Risk of Victimization
- Openly communicate your limits/boundaries and make them known as early as possible.
- Consent is your right, and you can change it at any time. You have the right to say “no.” Communicate your wishes clearly and know you can change them at any time. However, a person may express a lack of consent through words or conduct. A person need only resist, either verbally or physically, so as to make the person’s refusal to consent genuine and real and so as to reasonably make known to the actor the person’s refusal to consent.
- Remove yourself, if possible, from an aggressor’s physical presence through a distraction or help from a friend.
- Find someone nearby and ask for help, or call someone. People around you may be waiting for a signal that you need help.
- Be mindful about activities that can reduce your judgment. Take affirmative responsibility for your alcohol and/or drug consumption. Alcohol and drugs can increase your vulnerability to sexual victimization.
- Consider working out strategies with a friend when you go out together so you can remove yourself from a difficult situation. Look out for your friends and ask them to look out for you. Respect them, and ask them to respect you, but be willing to challenge each other about high-risk choices.
- Avoid leaving drinks unattended at social gatherings. This presents an opportunity for your drink to be drugged.
- Attend parties with friends you can trust. Agree to “look out” for one another. Try to leave with a group, rather than alone or with someone you don't know very well.
- Stay in public areas around other individuals. Avoid being alone with individuals you do not know and always remain within hearing/sight distance of others to avoid being trapped.
Protecting others
- If you see someone in a vulnerable position, find a non-threatening way to help. Don't ignore a potential case of sexual violence – get involved if you believe someone is at risk. You would want someone to intervene if you were in this situation.
- If you notice an individual adding something to another person’s drink, say something. You could be preventing the use of a date rape drug. Report the behavior to a campus authority or law enforcement.
Reducing the Risk of Being Accused of Sexual Misconduct
- Show your potential partner respect if you are in a position of initiating sexual behavior.
- If a potential partner says “no,” accept it and don’t push. If you want a “yes,” ask for it, and don’t proceed without clear permission.
- Clearly communicate your intentions to your potential sexual partners and give them a chance to share their intentions and/or boundaries with you.
- Respect personal boundaries. If you are unsure what’s OK in any interaction, ask.
- Avoid ambiguity. Don’t make assumptions about consent, about whether someone is attracted to you, how far you can go with that person, or if the individual is physically and mentally able to consent. If you have questions or are unclear, you don’t have consent.
- Don’t take advantage of the fact that someone may be under the influence of drugs or alcohol, even if that person chose to become that way. Others’ loss of control does not put you in control. A person who is giving consent cannot be incapacitated by drugs or alcohol, unconscious, passed out, coming in and out of consciousness, under the threat of violence, injury or other forms of coercion, and cannot have a disorder, illness, or disability that would impair his/her understanding of the act or his/her ability to make decisions. A person who is giving consent cannot be forced, coerced, or deceived into providing consent.
- Be on the lookout for mixed messages. That should be a clear indication to stop and talk about what your potential partner wants or doesn’t want to happen. That person may be undecided about how far to go with you, or you may have misread a previous signal.
- Respect the timeline for sexual behaviors with which others are comfortable and understand that they are entitled to change their minds.
- Recognize that even if you don’t think you are intimidating in any way, your potential partner may be intimidated by or fearful of you, perhaps because of your sex, physical size, or a position of power or authority you may hold.
- Do not assume that someone’s silence or passivity is an indication of consent. Pay attention to verbal and non-verbal signals to avoid misreading intentions.
- Understand that consent to one type of sexual behavior does not automatically grant consent to other types of sexual behaviors. If you are unsure, stop and ask. Understand that exerting power and control over another through sex is unacceptable conduct.
