The moment the situation starts to escalate, if you have
already made it clear that you have no interest, stop
all contact. This includes attempts at friendly persuasion,
counter-threats (an especially serious mistake), angry
demands to be left alone, or efforts to negotiate.
Putting an end to all communication includes not
responding - or reacting in a detectable way - to
threats or intimidations, no matter how scared you
are. As a precaution, consult your local law enforcement
department or a threat-assessment professional. Remember
to treat the threat like you would a promise: evaluate
the issuer's character, motives, and the circumstances
in order to judge how likely he is to carry out the
threat.
Needless to say, you want to avoid any personal contact.
Treat the stalker as if he or she is extremely dangerous
and stay away from that person whenever possible. Should
the stalker confront you, however, try to curb any actions
or words that might provoke an angry reaction, since he
has little to lose. Keep unavoidable encounters brief
and do not get drawn into discussions or negotiations.
Be especially careful around holidays, since those seem
to incite stalker activity. Take adequate privacy and
safety precautions. Enlist the support of family, friends,
neighbors, coworkers, therapists and other victims. Carry
a cell phone. Request an escort, Call CATS the campus
escort service, 375-7777, for an escort across campus
or from a parking lot to your residence hall.
Listen to your intuition, if something seems wrong
it probably is wrong.
Do not deny the problem, it instantly puts you at
a disadvantage. Do not try to bargain with your stalker,
it establish a dangerous precedent of allowing him
to control your actions. Do not try to let someone
down easy, say a definitive "NO" if you
are not interested in a relationship. Do not be lulled
into a false sense of security after obtaining a restraining
or protection order; this is often what pushes stalkers
to act violently. Do not expect the police to solve
your problem and make it go away. Do not ignore your
emotional needs during and after a stalking, get the
support you need.
