Related Services > SAVE Program > Violence Prevention Information > Relationship Violence > Getting Help

 | Prevention Ideas | Getting Help |

GETTING HELP for a FRIEND or YOURSELF:

Be patient but not a pushover: People in abusive relationships usually take a
long time to leave their relationships, if they ever do. Be patient and allow
them to make decisions at their own pace. Offer as much help as possible.
Try not to support their decision to return to the relationship, if they do return
don't get frustrated continue to be their friend and available. If you've tried
everything to get them out of the situation and they continue to go back, it's
their choice and you've done nothing wrong. You have to recognize when the
abuse is starting to have an affect on your life as a friend, and you have to
know your boundaries and limitations.

Ask them what the abuser is doing to change? If they say they are only abused
when their partner drinks or is on drugs, ask them if their partner is in rehab or
seeing a counselor. If the answer is no, ask them why they think things will
change or be different this time. Be honest, don't sugar coat the lethal realities
of abusive relationships. Make them aware that the abuse will continue as long
as their abuser doesn't get help.

Available Resources:

1. Call your R.A., Hall Director, or other trusted campus employee -OR-
2. Call Haven House (Domestic Abuse / Sexual Assault Shelter in Wayne)
   375-4633 -OR-
3. Call the SAVE Program / WSC Counseling Center 375-7321 -OR-
4. Call Campus Security 375-7216 - OR-
5. Call the Wayne Police Department 375-2626 in an emergency Dial 911
6. Get counseling to help you cope with the experience and to determine the course of action you wish to take.

_________________________
Ron Vick, MA, LPC
Counselor / Academic Advisor
Int'l Student Advisor