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RELATIONSHIP VIOLENCE: WHAT IT IS AND WHAT I SHOULD DO IF IT
HAPPENS TO ME?

Relationship violence, (also known as dating violence) is a pattern of abusive behavior by one person as a means of gaining control over the other person. This may occur in an intimate long-term or casual relationship. This abusive behavior is frequently some combination of emotional, psychological, physical, and or sexual, abuse.

Relationship Violence: According to the Centers for Disease Control, abuse is present in 32% of college relationships. It is important to note that relationship violence can happen in any kind of relationship. Gay, lesbian and straight relationships are all-susceptible to violence and abuse. In straight relationships, men can be both the abuser and the abused, although men perpetrate 95% of all serious physical abuse (Bureau Of Justice Statistics). The fact is that abuse is present in all types of college relationships and it usually takes one of these forms.

Types of Abuse:

Emotional/Psychological Abuse:

• May take the form of negative comments about a person's:
  weight, appearance, intelligence, or ability.
• Comments are meant to lower the partner's self- esteem.
• Jealous or controlling behavior; how you look, what you wear, where you go, who you see.
• Threat of harm to self, partner, other family members, or pets.
• Abuse will be subtle at first, but usually escalates over time.

Social Isolation:

• The abuser slowly isolates the person from friends and family
• May start by making comments like, "Your friends don't like me they're out to break us up" or "Lets not visit your parents this weekend, I don't think they like me."
• The abuser will demand more and more of his/her partner's time, and will become extremely jealous when his/her partner spends time with other people or on other activities i.e. school/studying.
• Isolation from friends and family takes away his/her partners support system and makes him/her more and more dependent on the abuser.

Physical Abuse:

• May not be displayed or evident at the beginning of the relationship
• May start out as grabbing, pushing, or poking
• Usually escalates overtime to slapping, punching, chocking, etc.
• May also include sexual assault see related site on rape

 

_________________________
Ron Vick, MA, LPC
Counselor / Academic Advisor
Int'l Student Advisor