Personal Counseling > Addictive Relationships > Strategies for Overcoming Relationship Addictions

 :: The Basis of the Addiction :: Are You Addicted? ::
:: Strategies for Overcoming Relationship Addictions ::
:: When to Seek Professional Help ::
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Robin Norwood, in her book "Women Who Love Too Much," outlines a ten-step plan for overcoming relationship addiction. While this book is directed toward women, its principles are equally valid for men. Stated here (reordered and paraphrased), Norwood suggests the following:

1. Make your "recovery" the first priority in your life.

2. Become "self-interested," i.e., focus on getting your own needs met more effectively.

3. Courageously face your own problems and shortcomings.

4. Cultivate whatever needs to be developed in yourself, i.e., fill in gaps that have made you feel undeserving or bad about yourself.

5. Learn to stop managing and controlling others; by being more focused on your own needs, you will no longer need to seek security by trying to make others change.

6. Develop your "spiritual" side, i.e., find out what brings you peace and serenity and commit some time, at least half an hour daily, to that endeavor.

7. Learn not to get "hooked" into the games of relationships; avoid dangerous roles you tend to fall into, e.g., "rescuer" (helper), "persecutor" (blamer), or "victim" (helpless one).

8. Find a support group of friends who understand.

9. Share with others what you have experienced and learned.

10. Consider getting professional help.

Need Additional Help?

The staff of the WSC Counseling Center is available for free workshops and offers individual counseling to help with these issues. For more information, call the Counseling Center at (402) 375-7321.

Wayne State College
Counseling Center
Student Center, Room 103

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Ron Vick, MA, LPC
Counselor / Academic Advisor
Int'l Student Advisor